Celebrate the Seasons and Remember Joy
Remember how the holidays felt when you were a kid, before you started dreading them? Lets bring that back.
Somewhere along the line holidays seem to become a burden for most of us.
When you're 5, Christmas is the most magical time of the year. By the time you're 25, the only magical thing about Christmas is when you open a card and find money inside.
So what happened?
Slow Down, Have Some Fun and Stop Trying to Win
This year, Andy and I carved Halloween pumpkins for the first time in years. I think the last time we carved pumpkins was in college...at one of those raging parties we frequented.
What possessed us to do this? Why did we suddenly feel the need, as fully grown adults (ha), to carve some pumpkins, that no one will see, on a Friday night? I'm not sure. I suppose isolation is finally cracking us.
But I'm so glad we did it.
We both naturally lean towards being workaholics and perfectionists in our own ways (Andy is much worse).
If were not doing something 'important', that's moving us towards our goals, we feel guilt. We don't do things for fun, we do them to achieve a goal. If we enjoy the task, great! But that's not our goal.
This is not the way to live an enjoyable life.
Chronic illness has forced me to come to terms somewhat with my perfectionistic tendencies and the constant desire for more. It's forced me to rest. Naps are progress too, if they're keeping you alive and healthy.
Life isn't just about getting things done. It's not a competition, despite what it feels like most of the time.
At the end of the line, there is no prize for 'most accomplished', or 'richest' or 'most famous'. We all die; the important part is what we do on our way there. Take some time to enjoy it.
Time Keeps Passing Whether You're Enjoying it or Not
No matter how you spend your time, with family and friends, on work, or watching tv, (none of these are wrong by the way), time keeps marching on.
This realization hit me like a brick wall while I was in nursing school. I clearly remember driving to school one day, hating life like usual, and suddenly realizing that there wasn't a SINGLE leaf left on the trees.
Last time I checked, fall was just barely beginning. The trees were showing just a hint of yellow. I was so distracted I missed the entirety of my favorite season. And why was I distracted? Because I was so busy doing something I hated; going to school for something I didn't like, studying obsessively, and inhaling granola bars as my only sustenance.
I knew then that this was not what I wanted for my life. I didn't want to be so disconnected from nature, my family, and myself. We each have a finite amount of time to live, and we get to choose (mostly) how we spend it.
Living Seasonally Grounds Us
Being connected to nature grounds us. I can't be truly happy and healthy without being in nature. It brings me great joy to see the first migrating geese in the fall, the first snowflake, or the first crocuses in the spring. These things give me something to look forward to. Something to keep me hopeful and moving forward instead of stagnating.
Seasons also give us reference points. Automatic reminders to check in with ourselves and others, to pause, reset if necessary, and really think about if life is going in the direction we want. It's all too easy to get sucked into work, school, or whatever aspect of life keeps you busy. By the time you come up for air you're astounded and heartbroken by the fact that 6 months ahs passed and you've missed it all.
We start seeds in March, eat fresh corn in August, and plant garlic in October; we hunker down and hibernate in the winter waiting for the buds on the trees to break open and spend all summer outside in the fresh air. These rhythms give our life structure and some sense of meaning in a world that sometimes feels devoid of any.
Embrace Celebrations Like When You Were A Child
Celebrating holidays and birthdays can seem like a burden or a waste of time. It's so easy to feel this way. The pressure to buy expensive gifts or throw extravagant parties or participate in over-the-top traditions zaps the joy from them. They become just another thing we have to do, rather than something we look forward to.
But think back to when you were a kid. Maybe 8 or 9. Didn't you love holidays, and birthday parties, and anything that got you together with your family and friends? It didn't really matter the occasion. In fact, I bet some of your best memories are of little, insignificant moments, not elaborate ceremonies and over-the-top parties.
That time you went camping at the lake, the Thanksgiving your extended family all visited and the dog stole the pie; the summer you slept in the living room on an air mattress, staying up late watching movies with your dad every night just because you could.
None of those moments involve a dj or a bounce house.
Celebrating isn't a burden or a waste of time if done the right way. Celebrations are a small way of marking the passage of time and orienting yourself in what can otherwise be a long, dull and seemingly endless existence.
They give you something to look forward to.
Celebrate the Right Way
Celebrations should be meaningful. Why would you celebrate something that doesn't mean anything to you?
Celebrations should be simple. If it feels like work, maybe you should rethink how you're celebrating. Eliminate some things or change it up.
You don’t need to do it all to have a good holiday. You don’t need to put up lights, bake dozens of cookies, build a snowman, go sledding, host a christmas party, binge christmas movies and do whatever else you think makes for a happy holiday.
This is one of those situations where less is more. Frantic, overwhelmed, and fatigued people are not very festive.
Make some new traditions, and remember the old ones that have brought you joy. If it doesn’t make you happy, you don’t need to do it.
No matter what, take the time to do something special, maybe something you haven't done since you were a kid.
It might feel stupid. It might feel like a waste of time. But just try it and see how you feel when you take the time to slow down, notice where you are, and celebrate it.
It can be as simple as putting out a wreath or taking a walk when the seasons change. Maybe you make some seasonal playlists or watch a favorite old movie. The simpler, the better. Just be sure it makes you happy.
What are the traditions that you've forgotten about in your busy life but want to bring back?
